The Twelve Days of Christmas, Bulma and Vegeta Style
by KrillinFanGirl
Summary: The 12 days of Christmas with a DBZ twist. A story for each day. Enjoy!


_On the first day of Christmas, Vegeta gave to me, a son that won't listen to me._

"TRUNKS GET OUT OF THERE RIGHT NOW!"

"Aww, but Moooooom!"

"There's only one Butt around here, and it's going to be bright red if you don't unlock that door this instant!"

Trunks was hiding in the Gravity Room, with the door locked. Bulma had come outside just as it started to power up. She had never been so glad she had installed that outside override switch. But unfortunately, she didn't think to install an outdoor lock. So Trunks was hiding inside, and Bulma was pounding on the door, yelling at him at the top of her lungs. After a few minuets, Vegeta had woken up from his after training nap, and he was quite angry at being woken by the woman yelling at the little brat. He walked outside, rubbing his eyes sleepily and said "What the hell is going on out here!?" Bulma glared at him.

"Our son has locked himself in the GR, and he won't come out!"

"So what? If he wants to train, let him!" Vegeta replied.

"ARE YOU KIDDING ME!?" Bulma took a deep breath. "He's to young to be exposed to that kind of gravity, He'll kill himself!"

"Then let him." Vegeta said nonchalantly, then went back inside.

Bulma's left eye began to twitch.

_On the second day of Christmas, Vegeta gave to me, two dead pets, and a son that won't listen to me._

Bulma sniffed. Then she sniffed again. Something stunk. "Vegeta, what's that smell?" She asked the currently gorging Saiyan Prince. "Meat." Said Vegeta with his mouth full. Bulma rolled her eyes. "No, not _that _smell!" Bulma replied, irritated. "It smells rotten!"

"Yes, rotten meat. Now will you let me eat in peace!?"

"What rotten meat!? There's nothing rotten in the fridge!"

"Not in the fridge. Under the porch." Vegeta said stiffly.

"Under the porch?" Bulma said, going to check this out for herself. She stepped outside, and climbed off the porch, and looked in the door to the crawl space. There she saw...

"VEGETA!" Vegeta rolled his eyes. He should have known this was coming. "What did you do to Fluffy and Bell!?"

"You mean those infernal little creatures have a name?"

"Of course they have... Had a name! AND NOW THEY'RE DEAD! So tell me... WHAT DID YOU DO!?"

"They were in my way. I disposed of them."

"You... _disposed_ of my cats!?"

"Yes. I told you, they were in my way."

"VEGETA YOU A**!"

_On the third day of Christmas, Vegeta gave to me, three ruined projects, two dead pets, and a son that won't listen to me._

**BOOM!**

"What was that!?" Bulma yelled. Vegeta appeared from a side door, his clothes singed, followed by a cloud of smoke.

"VEGETA!" She screeched at him.

"What is it, Woman?" He replied.

"What did you do _this_ time?"

"I was looking for the new bot to train with."

"Annnnnd?"

"I tested it. It failed the test."

"You _tested_ it?"

"Yes."

"IT WASN'T READY!"

"That would explain why it blew up."

"I-it blew up?"

"Boom."

"And my other projects?"

"Boom."

_On the fourth day of Christmas, Vegeta gave to me, four exploded lamps, three, ruined projects, two dead pets, and a son that won't listen to me._

It was the middle of the night. Vegeta has just come in from training. Bulma was laying in her bed, asleep, in her pink silk nightgown. That was, until Vegeta stormed in, slamming her bedroom door against the wall, chipping off the paint.

"WOMAN!" Bulma woke up with a start, and rubbed her eyes, irritated.

"What do want at this Kami awful hour!?"

"The GR is broken. I demand you fix it this instant!"

Bulma flicked the light switch by her bed to the "on" position, and proceeded to glare at Vegeta.

"I am not going out at..." She looked at the clock. "2:37 A.M. To fix the GR! Just go to SLEEP!"

"I DEMAND YOU FIX IT NOOOOOWWWWW!" Vegeta yelled, powering up. All of a sudden, Bulma heard a noise.

**Pop! Pop! Pop! Pop!**

Then it went dark.

_On the fifth day of Christmas, Vegeta gave to me, Five craters outside! Four exploded lamps, three ruined projects, two dead pets, and a son that won't listen to me._

Bam! Pow! Crash! "TIMBER!" "YEOOOOWWW! VEGETA, THAT'S NOT FAIR!" "Tough Luck Kakarrot!" Boom! Plosh! Wham!

As you can probably guess, Goku and Vegeta were Sparring. In Bulma's back yard, no less. And as you can probably also guess, Bulma was none to pleased about this. She was watching through the window, absolutely fuming. After a little while they finished, and came inside to get something to eat, at Goku's suggestion of course. And it was then that Bulma took her opportunity. She waltzed up to them, put her hands on her hips, and began yelling.

"JUST WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU TWO WERE DOING!?"

"We were just sparring, Bulma." Goku said, confused.

"And _where_ were you sparring, Goku?"

"Uh, Out there." Goku replied, pointing to Bulma's back lawn.

"EXACTALY! I SPEFICTALY TOLD VEGETA TO SPAR IN THE WOODS, AND NOT IN MY LAWN!"

"Aw, shucks Bulma, I didn't know." Goku said, rubbing the back of his head.

Bulma glared. "But _he_ did!" she said, turning her attention to Vegeta. Vegeta simply shrugged. Bulma walked to the window to survey the damage. When she saw what had happened, she gasped, and spun on her heel to face Vegeta.

"TREES DOWN LEFT AND RIGHT, SOLAR LIGHTS RUINED, AND FIVE CRATERS! FIVE!"

"Gee Bulma, I'm sorry!" Goku said guiltily.

"I'm not angry at you, Goku. You didn't know. I'm mad at _him_!" She said, glaring at Vegeta. Vegeta merely shrugged and walked away.

_On the sixth day of Christmas, Vegeta gave to me, six singed trees, five craters outside! Four exploded lamps, three ruined projects, two dead pets, and a son that won't listen to me._

Bulma sat at her table, drinking her decaf, looking out the window at the beautiful orange sunset. It was peaceful. That was something that didn't happen often in the Briefs household. But there was a very good reason it was peaceful this fine evening. After two solid months of talking, moaning, and "persuading", Bulma had finally convinced Vegeta to take Trunks camping. She had the whole weekend to herself! It was amazing! It was wonderful! It was... BORING! Bulma sighed and took a sip of her coffee. _I wonder what Trunks and Vegeta are doing right now..._

"You imbecile, I can't believe you missed another one!"

"Sorry Dad..." Trunks sighed and climbed out of the lake, empty handed. Vegeta, on the other hand, had a stack of fish as tall as himself, which I guess wasn't saying much.

"Sorry catches no fish!" Vegeta snapped, taking his own personal fish and heading back to the campsite. Trunks followed sheepishly.

Back at the site, the Saiyan Father and Son were staring at the fireplace, a quizzical look on their faces.

"Um, Dad?"

"What is it son?" Vegeta replied sharply.

"Do you know...?"

"Do you think I'm an idiot!?"

"No no no! I was just saying... Well... We do need to cook the fish..."

"Ugh, fine! I'll do all the work!" Vegeta stormed off to the edge of the clearing and punched a tree, causing it to fall to the ground. He continued the assault on the tree until it was in pieces small enough to put in the fireplace. He then hauled it over and dumped it all in the circle of rocks in a big pile. He then raised his hand and aimed it at the wood, preparing to fire off a ki blast.

"Umm, Dad, I don't think that's the best idea..." Trunks said warily.

"Shut it boy." Vegeta replied. He proceeded to fire off what was meant to be a light ki blast to just light the wood, but instead a rather strong one that put the pile of wood up in flames, and caught fire to the surrounding trees. Both sets of eyes grew wide in shock, but thankfully, Trunks is a quick thinker. He fired off a ki blast into the nearby lake, causing a huge splash, which put out the fire.

Vegeta and Trunks began to lower to the ground to survey the damage. Vegeta took one look at the clearing, hair dripping wet, hanging down to his shoulders, and then he looked at Trunks and said, "There's no need to tell you mother about this." Trunks looked at him, with a slight twinkle in his eye and said one word.

"Agreed."

_On the seventh day of Christmas, Vegeta gave to me, seven melted computers, six singed trees, five craters outside! Four exploded lamps, three ruined projects, two dead pets, and a son that won't listen to me._

Vegeta had just arrived back to Earth from a long trip into space, working on his training. After Goku died, he just laid around most of the day, not knowing what to do with himself anymore. But after a while, Bulma decided that she couldn't take it anymore. Not to mention their son needed a father. He was just learning how to walk. So she stormed up to him and chewed him out about never doing anything, and he really took it to heart. And to space. He decided he needed to pump up his training, so he took Cc Ship #3 and flew off to the far reaches of the galaxy. He was just getting back from almost a year in space. Bulma was looking at her computer when she saw a blip in the corner. Could it be? It was Ship #3!

"Vegeta!" She said, excitedly. She clicked on the little moving icon, and clicked contact.

"Vegeta, you're back!"

"Yes, of course I am. I didn't have enough fuel to go any further."

"Oh, right." Bulma said slowly. He didn't want to come back, he had to. She started getting mad, but she decided to save it for when he landed. She took a deep breath, and said into the mic, "Ok, there's a landing pad just south of the main lawn. I'm sending you the coordinates now."

"I'll land where ever the hell I want, Woman!"

Trying not to yell and wake the sleeping Trunks in the corner of the room, she replied "You'll land were I want you to, you jerk! I don't care if I have to over ride the controls!" She then heard a whoosh. Then something fell right next to her head. _Oh crap, he's landing right above me._ She thought. She ran over to where Trunks was, and just in time, because the ship landed right in the warehouse, melting everything within a 50 foot radius, including her best computers. After the engines turned off, Vegeta stepped out, and the first thing he said was "I want food." Trunks, waking up from his nap, and clung to his mother's leg, and then saw who was stepping out from the ship, and he let go of his mother and ran over the Vegeta and wrapped his arms around him and said "Daddy!" With a huge smile on his face. Vegeta looked down at him, puzzled as Bulma came over and put her head on his shoulder and said "Meet your son Vegeta." Vegeta looked at her with a slightly disgusted look on his face, and she wrapped her arms around him and said "You melted my computers you jerk." He scoffed, and with a slight smile, he wrapped his arms around her.

_On the eighth day of Christmas, Vegeta gave to me, eight giant headaches, seven melted computers, six singed trees, five craters outside! Four exploded lamps, three ruined projects, two dead pets, and a son that won't listen to me._

In the past three days, Vegeta has managed to give me eight headaches. Day one was Friday. It all started that morning. I woke up, and rolled over to say good morning to Vegeta, and when I reached out, my arm found empty space. I glared. I had specifically told Vegeta that I didn't want him going out to train until after I woke up. I like knowing where he is. Controlling, I know, but that's how I like it. So I hopped out of bed, wrapped up in my robe, and ran out to the GR. Sure enough, it was on. I went into the control room, and pressed the com button. Vegeta's face flashed on the screen.

"What do you _want_!?" He yelled at me.

"I _want_ you to come back inside, instead of running off to the GR at the crack of dawn!" I replied, with equal force.

"I will say this only once. Leave. Me. ALONE!"

His shout was so loud, I didn't need to com to hear it, It's a good thing to, cause the computer blew up from the sheer force of it. But not until it was so loud it practically blew out my eardrums. I had a splitting headache for the rest of the day, which was only added to by the food fight later. I finally got all three of us to sit down at the table to eat, but of course, nothing could be perfect. It started with Trunks trying to fling his meatballs across the room with his fork. I tried to get him to stop, but he wouldn't, so I figured, let him have some fun, the maids will clean it up later. I should have sent him to his room. After about five minuets and 10 meatballs, he hit Vegeta right smack in the face. Vegeta looked up from his plate, meatball splattered across his face, and looked at Trunks with malice in his eyes. I thought he was going to kill his own son, I really did. But instead, he stuck his hand into his spaghetti, grabbed a huge handful, and threw it at Trunks. It hit him on the face. Trunks slurped a noodle, then smiled. He snatched an orange from the middle of the table and chucked it at his father. Vegeta got an evil smirk, and threw an apple at his son. And this is where headache number two came from, along with a night of drinking. Which led to headache number three, as soon as I woke up. And Vegeta wasn't there again. Which I guess wasn't a surprise, seeing as I slept until 10 am. But I went out to the GR, to see if Vegeta wanted to come in for breakfast. Of course, that led to me being yelled at again, causing headache number four. Headache five came after my nap. I went to bed to sleep off headaches three and four. I woke up to Goku hovering over my head. At first, I thought it was Vegeta, but I wondered why he would be wearing orange. He hates orange. Then I blinked. And blinked again. Then the face started to take form.

"GOKU GET OUT OF MY FACE!"

"Oh, good, you're finally up!"

"Goku."

"Yeah Bulma?"

"GET OUT OF MY BEDROOM!"

"But Bulma, Vegeta told me to tell you he broke the wall."

"He _what_?"

"He broke the wall. The one between the kitchen and the garden."

And that was where headache number five came from.

Number six was one I should have seen coming. I asked Vegeta to go shopping with me. I wanted him to help me pick out some new stuff at Victoria's Secret. And I thought he might even care about that. Everything I buy there benefits him too, you know. Well, I was wrong. It all started with me eagerly running into the store to look at a new lace bra I've had my eye on. And he just stood out in the mall hallway with his arms crossed.

"Vegeta, come look at this!" I called.

"Hmph." He replied.

Isn't this pretty?" I asked.

"Meh." He answered.

Now I was getting mad. I came here with the hope we might be able to connect a little, and he was just ignoring me! I stormed out to him, still holding the lace bra. That caused the alarm at the store to go off. And of course, a half a dozen guards automatically swarmed me. I started elbowing my way through them to get to Vegeta. I wasn't stealing anything, why should I be afraid of them?

"VEGETA GET OVER HERE!" I yelled. And that was when a guard tackled me to the ground, and I hit my head on a bench. And that was headache six. By the time we got home, my head hurt so bad, I spent the whole night on the couch, trying to drink away the pain. That caused headache number seven. Number eight was quite interesting. I'm not quite sure where it came from. It must be lasting brain damage, from all the other headaches. But all I know for sure is, on Sunday night, every time I said "Vegeta" I got a sharp pain in my head. And that makes eight.

_On the ninth day of Christmas, Vegeta gave to me, nine late nights, eight giant headaches, seven melted computers, six singed trees, five craters outside! Four exploded lamps, three ruined projects, two dead pets, and a son that won't listen to me._

Every night is a late night in the Briefs household. Or at least 3 out of 4. The most interesting one happened just two days ago. After a long night of arguing, Bulma and Vegeta retired to bed. By the time they were actually ready to fall asleep, it was 11:38 pm. Bulma rolled over and put her arm over Vegeta's chest. She smiled at him as said "I love you Vegeta."

Vegeta twitched his lips into the tiniest of smiles and replied "You are acceptable."

Bulma's smile grew wider at his rare display of affection. She nuzzled her head into the crook of his neck, ready to get some well deserved rest. But just when she thought she was finally going to get some sleep, A toddler Trunks burst into the room, bawling. Bulma quickly pulled the blanket up to cover herself and Vegeta, though Vegeta seemed like he couldn't care less. She looked at Trunks, smiled, and said "What's wrong Trunks? Did you have a bad dream?"

Trunks just continued to bawl, and attempted to climb into bed with his parents. Bulma tried to stop him, trying to convince him that "Big boys sleep in their own bed!" but to no avail. And when she looked to Vegeta for support, he simply said "Hn." and rolled over and went to sleep. So Trunks squirmed his way in between his parents, and they all fell asleep.

_On the tenth day of Christmas, Vegeta gave to me, ten shattered windows, nine late nights, eight giant headaches, seven melted computers, six singed trees, five craters outside! Four exploded lamps, three ruined projects, two dead pets, and a son that won't listen to me._

Bulma was laying on a red couch in an eggshell white room. There was a redheaded woman in a white coat with a clipboard sitting in a chair across from her. Yes, Bulma was talking to a Therapist. Are you really surprised, with everything that poor blue haired woman has to go through? Well, the session was half over, and the Therapist's questions had turned to Vegeta.

"So this... Mate of yours. Vegeta. I hear he causes a lot of trouble."

"HA! A lot is an understatement! He has me climbing the walls!"

"Like when? Could you give me an example?"

"I could give you thousands!"

"One will do."

"Well, If I have to pick just one... Last week he was training in the GR, Gravity Room, that I made for him. I went into the control room to see if he wanted some lunch, he's always hungry. So I turned on the com, and his face flashed onto the screen. I asked him if he wanted to come in for lunch, or have the servants bring it out there."

"So you gave him no choice in the matter of _having_ lunch, merely the method of delivery."

"Don't judge me! It's not like it mattered anyway. He just yelled at me. So I left him alone. I went inside to get something for myself, and then I watched some TV. A couple hours later, he stormed inside, demanding I make him something to eat. I told him that I offered him food already, and he turned it down. I wasn't going to make a special meal just for him. If he wanted something to eat, he'd have to make it himself. He wasn't to happy about that. I swear, sometimes he thinks I'm his servant. When he first starting staying in my house, he didn't even use my name. He just called me 'Woman!' and "Servant woman!' But I'm getting off the point. I told him I wasn't going to make him anything, and he got mad. He began to power up, then he went Super Saiyan,"

"Super Saiyan?"

"He gets really powerful and turns blond. Anyway, when he turned Super Saiyan, all the windows blew out, along with the TV screen. He yelled at me to cook him something 'this instant'. I told him no. He raised his hand to hit me, paused, descended, then walked away, muttering. A little while later I saw him walking out to the GR, and sandwich in his hand. I was really proud of myself, when I saw that. Not like I didn't already know how amazing I was."

"He wanted to hit you? He sounds abusive."

"Not really, he has a really short temper, but I can control him."  
"It seems like a lot of effort, and he doesn't seem to care about you much. Why do you stay with him?"

Bulma paused at this question, then with a slight smile she replied "Because I love him."

_On the eleventh day of Christmas, Vegeta gave to me, eleven broken dishes, ten shattered windows, nine late nights, eight giant headaches, seven melted computers, six singed trees, five craters outside! Four exploded lamps, three ruined projects, two dead pets, and a son that won't listen to me._

It was Christmas day. One of the days of the year when the Briefs let all of their maids have a day off. Sure, they had the robots, but they had limited capabilities. So Bulma and Vegeta had just finished lunch, and the dishes needed done. Somehow, Bulma had convinced Vegeta to help. She stood in front of the sink, scrubbing the seemingly endless pile of plates, while Vegeta stood in front of the drying rack, holding a red dish towel, looking less than pleased. Bulma finished the plate that until just a moment ago, had been covered with crusty cheese, from nachos. She handed it to Vegeta, and then turned back to the sink. Then she heard a crash. She looked back at Vegeta, and then looked at the floor. There was the remnants of her favorite nacho plate. She glared, then whistled. The robots rushed over and swept up the mess. Bulma began to scrape Kami only knows what off another plate, while Vegeta dried a glass. He put his hand around it, and used his other hand to force the towel in. Then it shattered. Bulma groaned, and had the robots clean it up again. Then she put everything else she had cleaned in the drying rack, and Vegeta went to dry it. About half of those broke. That was six. Then a bowl. Then another plate. Then Bulma's favorite mug. Then a platter. Bulma was starting to question her decision to ask Vegeta to help. She was nervous about handing him her Mother's wedding plate. She went to grab the towel from him, saying she'd dry it herself. He yelled "I am not an Imbecile! I can dry a plate!" He yanked the towel back, and then tried to grab the plate, but Bulma held on tight. But he was stronger. He pulled it away from her, but she was fairly strong too. So it didn't slip from her grip. It shattered. And they were left, each holding a small piece of the plate, and the rest of it laying on the floor.

"I GIVE UP!" Bulma yelled, storming away.

Vegeta just shrugged, dropped the piece of plate he was holding, and left.

_On the twelfth day of Christmas, Vegeta gave to me, twelve holes in the wall, eleven broken dishes, ten shattered windows, nine late nights, eight giant headaches, seven melted computers, six singed trees, five craters outside! Four exploded lamps, three ruined projects, two dead pets, and a son that won't listen to me._

Bzzz...

Silence.

Bzzzzzzz.

There it was again! Vegeta looked up from his book, irritated. Yes, Vegeta was reading. It's not something he does often, but when he does, he likes to enjoy it in peace and quiet! After a moment of glancing around the room, he spotted the source of his frustration. A big, fat, stupid bumble bee. _How do the humans tolerate all the horrid insects on this planet? _He wondered to himself. The bee buzzed past his head again. He reached up to catch it, but it was faster than in looked. It flew out of the way just in time. He glared at it, set his book down on the coffee table, and stood up.

"Kami damn bee is going to pay." He muttered to himself. He raised his hand and aimed at where he expected the bee to be, and blasted. He smirked, confident that he had put an end to the little nuisance. He walked back to his chair, and right when he was about to sit down...

Bzzzzzzz!

Vegeta dropped the book and stood straight up. He saw the bee hovering next to the wall, and he punched at it. And missed. So he swung again, and again. Then he began to blast again. After a few moments of this Bulma heard something coming from the den, so she went to see what it was. When she got there, she was greeted by at least a dozen holes in the walls, and Vegeta, standing in the middle of the room, with a triumphant look on his face.

"Vegeta, what the hell happened here!?" Bulma screeched.

"I killed a bee." Vegeta replied, simply.

A/N: So? Whacha think? Sorry it's a little late, I got it up as soon as I could. Btw, I wrote the song myself too, not just the story. Oh, and in case you were wondering, I'll give you a rough time frame for each story.

Day One: About a year before Trunks goes Super Saiyan the first time.

Day Two: Three year gap before Androids, before Trunks is born.

Day Three: Three year gap before Androids, after Trunks is born.

Day Four: Three year gap before Androids, before Trunks is born.

Day Five: Post Buu Saga, Pre-Uub.

Day Six: Post Buu Saga, Pre-Uub.

Day Seven: One year after end of Cell Games Saga.

Day Eight: Pre-Buu Saga, a little after Day One.

Day Nine: A little after Day Seven.

Day Ten: A couple years after Cell Games Saga.

Day Eleven: Same as Day Ten.

Day Twelve: After Buu Saga, Pre-Uub.

Anyway, I hope you enjoyed it! It was my first (sorta) song fic, and my first one shot! Please review! Thanks!


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